Now, I'm sure we all know by now that Charlie Sheen is no Mark Twain, but he's a lot funnier than Mark Twain ever was. Let's take a look at some of his quotes. You know the drill - me in bold, Sheen in italics.
"But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know."
No, I don't know. Would you care to elaborate, Sheen?
"I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, 'I can't process it' well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?"
No, I still don't know. Are you on drugs or something?
"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen."
Okay, that explains it. What did you do today, Charlie?
"I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill."
I literally just finished watching 28 Weeks Later fifteen minutes ago, and I'm pretty sure none of that stuff happened.
"The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children."
Okay, droopy-eyed, maybe. But armless?
Thanks for your time, Charlie.
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